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15 April 2009 @ 11:23 pm

Oh, hi!
23 November 2008 @ 01:39 pm
Ignore the Spanish.

It simultaneously makes me giggle and breaks my heart.
The other day, a proposition passed in California (Proposition 8) banning gay couples from getting married. It is now no longer legal for gay couples to get married in California, and this scares the living shit out of me, because if this happens in one state, it sure as hell can happen in mine. I have a few gay friends. They're all good, law-abiding citizens who should have the right to marry the person they love, despite being the same gender.
So, this disturbingly eye opening video depicts just how fucked up society is when it comes to marriage and it's so called "sanctity". If you're easily disturbed I suggest you don't watch. There a some graphic depictions here, but generally I think you'll share the same opinion.

America still has a lot of growing up to do. I'm gonna go hang myself now.
24 August 2008 @ 02:24 pm
Soooo, I ran upon this video about ten minutes ago, and thus decided that I have no more faith in the concept of our children being the leaders of our future.

I would love to curb stomp this little girls parents. Not only is this girl dancing like a tramp when she looks no older than six, but she and everyone else around her are acting like it's commonplace. Every one of my 47 frown muscles are overworking at this point.

I need a drink.
16 July 2008 @ 11:02 am
For anyone who wishes to get really pissed off today, read THIS ARTICLE".

In short, the Department of Health and Human Services, a cabinet department of the United States government with the goal of protecting the health of all Americans and providing essential human services, has released a proposal to any federal grant recipient to obstruct a woman's access to contraception.

This must be a really good idea! *insert vomit noise*

And in order to do so, the department is willing to go so far as to redefine many commonly used forms of birth control as abortion, depending on how they work. This all begins with the fact that there are two different beliefs as to when pregnancy starts.

1).Fertilization-the union of an oocyte and spermatozoon.
2).Implantation-when the embryo implants in the lining of the uterus and remains their until birth.

Most people believe that birth control works by not allowing fertilization to happen, but what actually happens is the prevention of implantation (the fertilized egg can't stick to the uterus, and pregnancy is herein aborted when menstruation occurs, so you could have a fertilized egg inside of you, and you'd never even know it). It would make sense that anti-abortion activists would use this information as fuel for their fire. What doesn't make sense is why the HHS would want to get on their knees and suck these peoples dicks.

So, what does the HHS decide upon? Ultimately, it suggests by it's actions that making it legal to deny people birth control and abortion services is a good idea! That's right kiddies, let's deny basic medical care. So poorer people (especially those who ABUSE aid systems) will help us over populate this planet more than it already is, and of course all of these kids will grow up just to repeat the entire process. Overpopulation is the number one reason why our planet is a complete mess… too much waste, too much consumption, too much over-development, too many toxins, too many landfills, too many factories, etc etc etc etc...but do these people really care about that? No, because God will fix it.

"Up until now, the federal government followed the definition of pregnancy accepted by the American Medical Association and our nation's pregnancy experts, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, which is: pregnancy begins at implantation." - It makes sense, America should listen to it's experts.

"It now claims that pregnancy begins at some biologically unknowable moment (there's no test to determine if a woman's egg has been fertilized)." - Wait! Instead of relying on what the experts prove to be fact, we're going to base our argument on something we can't prove. Awesome!

Since both definitions of pregnancy are considered reasonable and widely used by scientists and medics, the HHS is allowing individuals and institutions to adhere to their own views and adopt a definition of abortion that encompasses both views of abortion, which would, in turn, allow any woman in the US to be denied birth control and abortion services.

Smart. We could really use an excess of the aforementioned problems in this country.
Admittedly, I'm not the tidiest person on the face of this planet. I know that I am one of the laziest people in my life, and that certain little things that need to get done either get done late or not at all. I am disorganized, distracted, and forgetful, and it pisses Tom off more than anything, but who here is perfect? If you claim to be perfect then I want nothing to do with you because that's blatant ignorance, and uppity attitudes make me want to stab myself in the eyeballs...and no one likes an eye-stabbing.

This blog is about the horrors of cohabitation, and how hard it is you think you have it with who you're living with, but wait...just wait until you rent a room in your house/apartment to the housemate from hell. Just wait until you start noticing that permeating death-smell from under the door, and just wait until you pry into that persons bedroom and find the very thing you've dreaded since they moved in. You poor, empathetic bastard.

In short, this man rents a room to this woman he met online who was having a lot of problems in her life. Everything is fucked for this guy and his friends from the beginning. The lady he thought he knew had been lying about the fact that she had a son, had been keeping food wrappers, trash, almost empty bottles of whatever substances and other anonymous garbage in her room in her duffle bags, and apparently, she had also shit all over the bed she was sleeping in, decided that it was easier to just throw a sheet over it, and continue to sleep there. Oh, the monstrosities this blog describes...it's almost unbearable to read, and the pictures! Fuck! I never thought people could be so foul.

This man's blog is lengthy, but worth the read, and packed with pictures and documentation. This will change your entire perspective about your surroundings and how you should appreciate things the way they are with your family/boyfriend/room mate/pets/whathaveyou.

Growing up in a series of bungalows and going back and forth between both sets of grandparents, I've lived my entire life without the benefit of privacy, and there was never enough breathing room for my family to function without bumping into each other's space and using up each other's oxygen. We were always up each others asses, messing up the house, fighting over who got to use the computer/tv, and when it came to chore time, no one made any effort, because honestly, who wants to clean up after three other people when they don't put any effort into anything?

Also, this is a public apology to Tom, because although I hate doing housework lately, I know you cant do it anymore than I can, and If I ever bitch at you again over something stupid like not hanging up the towels the way I prefer or keeping the sink clear of your daily hygiene products so that they don't topple when I turn the water on (because I really am that bad at times), then you have every right to kick my ass senseless. I won't protest.
11 July 2008 @ 06:00 pm
A few weeks ago, we got a new employee to fill in the blank Clyde left when he retired. This kid has proved that there is only one type of person that falls into the "most annoying type of person" category. What this kid likes to do is follow you. He doesn't do his job, so instead, he follows you while you do yours, and lingers in your breathing space. He's like a god damned barnacle.
The good news I got today was that he is being shipped off to another school, and me and my crew won't be near him any longer. Thank God.
This is the message I got from Joey Blowie this evening (this is the most hysterical myspace message I've ever received, and felt it necessary to post it here, for memories sake):


I heard this morning Rob will be having his hemmorhoid removed on monday. He will be getting the lump removed from his butt and they will be going their separate ways. The lump is going to the high school and Rob is going to port monmouth road. I hear Rob will probably be back but the lump may become medical waste. I was told not to say anything to them so in case you run into one of them over the weekend do not mention it to them. Thank you for your cooperation & have a nice weekend. P.S-WILLIE & SCOTT WILL BE JOINING US ON MONDAY

09 July 2008 @ 11:18 am
Stolen from wtf_inc

There are days when it is agony to read the news, because people are so goddamned stupid. Petty and stupid. Hateful and stupid. Just plain stupid. And nothing makes them stupider than religion.

Here's a story that will destroy your hopes for a reasonable humanity.

Webster Cook says he smuggled a Eucharist, a small bread wafer that to Catholics symbolic of the Body of Christ after a priest blesses it, out of mass, didn't eat it as he was supposed to do, but instead walked with it.

This isn't the stupid part yet. He walked off with a cracker that was put in his mouth, and people in the church fought with him to get it back. It is just a cracker!

Catholics worldwide became furious.

Would you believe this isn't hyperbole? People around the world are actually extremely angry about this — Webster Cook has been sent death threats over his cracker. Those are just kooks, you might say, but here is the considered, measured response of the local diocese:

"We don't know 100% what Mr. Cooks motivation was," said Susan Fani a spokesperson with the local Catholic diocese. "However, if anything were to qualify as a hate crime, to us this seems like this might be it."

We just expect the University to take this seriously," she added "To send a message to not just Mr. Cook but the whole community that this kind of really complete sacrilege will not be tolerated."

Wait, what? Holding a cracker hostage is now a hate crime? The murder of Matthew Shephard was a hate crime. The murder of James Byrd Jr. was a hate crime. This is a goddamned cracker. Can you possibly diminish the abuse of real human beings any further?

Well, you could have a priest compare this event to a kidnapping.

"It is hurtful," said Father Migeul Gonzalez with the Diocese. "Imagine if they kidnapped somebody and you make a plea for that individual to please return that loved one to the family."

Gonzalez said the Diocese is willing to meet with Cook and help him understand the importance of the Eucharist in hopes of him returning it. The Diocese is dispatching a nun to UCF's campus to oversee the next mass, protect the Eucharist and in hopes Cook will return it.

I like the idea of sending a scary nun to guard the ceremony at the next mass. But even better…let's send Webster Cook to hell!

Gonzalez said intentionally abusing the Eucharist is classified as a mortal sin in the Catholic church, the most severe possible. If it's not returned, the community of faith will have to ask for forgiveness.

"We have to make acts of reparation," Gonzalez said. "The whole community is going to turn to prayer. We'll ask the Lord for pardon, forgiveness, peace, not only for the whole community affected by it, but also for [Cook], we offer prayers for him as well."

Get some perspective, man. IT'S A CRACKER.

And of course, Bill Donohue is outraged (I know, Donohue is going to die of apoplexy someday when a gnat violates his oatmeal, so this isn't saying much).

For a student to disrupt Mass by taking the Body of Christ hostage--regardless of the alleged nature of his grievance--is beyond hate speech. That is why the UCF administration needs to act swiftly and decisively in seeing that justice is done. All options should be on the table, including expulsion.

Oh, beyond hate speech. Where does this fit on the Shoah scale, Bill? It shouldn't even register, but here is Wild-Eyed Bill the Offended calling for the expulsion of a student…for not swallowing a cracker.

Would you believe that the mealy-mouthed president of the university, John Hitt, is avoiding defending his student is instead playing up the importance of the Catholic church to the university? Of course you would. That's what university presidents do. Bugger the students, keep the donors and the state reps happy.

Unfortunately, Webster Cook has now returned the cracker. Why?

Webster just wants all of this to go away. Especially now that he feels his life is in danger.

That's right. Crazy Christian fanatics right here in our own country have been threatening to kill a young man over a cracker. This is insane. These people are demented fuckwits. And Cook is not out of the fire yet — that Fox News story ends with an open incitement to cause him further misery.

University officials said, that as for right now, Webster Cook is not in trouble. If anyone or any group wants to file a formal complaint with the University through the student judicial system, they can. If that happens, Webster will go through a hearing either in front of an administrative panel or a panel of his peers.

Got that? If you don't like what Webster Cook did, all you have to do is complain to the university, and they will do the dirty work for you of making his college experience miserable. And don't assume the university would support Cook; the college is now having armed university police officers standing guard during mass.


As you may or may not know, I personally have no religious interest and do not partake in religious happenings, mostly because I grew up in a family that is more or less Darwinistic and believes in what they see, and not in the fables they were told as children. That being said, I don't consider myself an atheist either, because that would require me knowing a little more about the hypocrisies of multiple religions, and that's just too much work for me. If you're reading this, and believe in God, then I trust that your not as much of an asshole as the people listed above, so don't be offended. If you are offended, then you're a pussy.

Just wait. Now there'll be a team of Jesuits assigned to rifle through my mail every day.
06 July 2008 @ 10:49 am
Things that made me happy today:

-Three day weekend, with no chores!
-Edys Espresso Chip ice cream is on sale! Woohoo! This is my comfort food. You'll lose an important part of your body if you try to take it away from me.
-There's an all day marathon of a show called Most Evil, true crime kicks ass, and this compliments my ice cream more than anything else.
-This guy, and his brilliant pictures that remind me on my own childhood traumas that didn't really exist. He claims to only use photoshop for touch ups, and uses genuine props and special effects makeup. I <3 it. Also, I've finally found someone who agrees that Walt Disney is and was one of the first masters of horror (if you disagree then you're dumb)!

-And last but not least, this amazing little gem I found while trolling through livejournal.


Now I hope photobucket doesn't delete it, because those bastards are worse than myspace when it comes to the "keeping our youth innocent" crap.

All this helped me feel a little less sickly...I'm pretty sure I'll have to have my tonsils removed with the way my throat feels today, and the fact that it feels like it's 7 oclock at night doesn't make me want to get up and move around either. Thanks Joshua Hoffine, for your morbid happiness!

I don't really have anything to rant about, which is usually why I post anything on myspace, but my life is pretty awesome at this point, except for my job blowing goats, but that's neither here nor there, and I'm sure I'll get a new one soon.

Oh, and here's a video of drunken happiness. The best thirteen seconds of my life happens here. I'm the one helping Doug poke at his face.
The Pants Thing
16 May 2008 @ 09:25 am
Remember kids, it could end up in the butt. Other than foul language, it's sfw.

Sister Busted By Brother - Watch more free videos